My journey to freedom
Everyone has a story this is mine.
I choose to be a voice for anyone who is still silent. Struggling to find their way out, looking for the light at the end of that dark lonely tunnel. How did I make it out? How did I get to where I am now? One word … four letters, HOPE, I held onto believing I was stronger than the storm.
Hold On Pain Ends.
I grew up in a loving family with parents who showed me nothing but love, trust and support. I have one older brother and we have always had a great relationship. My childhood was everything most dream of and I’ve never taken it for granted. We lived in a nice home, my parents worked endlessly to provide for us and every year they still tried to bring us on a family trip. My friends always told me how lucky I am to have the parents I do and I never disagreed.
The top floor of our house had a suite that my Nana (grandma) lived in. She was my best friend we spent endless hours together. I remember rushing home from school just to drop my bags and go visit. We spent summers together at our family camp. We played a lot of scrabble, cards and endless conversations about the weirdest things. She was truly an inspirational woman, very crafty, she could make something out of nothing. Her and my Mom did many craft shows selling hand crafted things of their own. It was always so much fun and this is where my love for art started.
My Mom is beyond talented she can airbrush beyond words. She also would decal cars, planes and many other things. I sat with her whenever I could and tried to help whenever she would give me the okay! I always told myself I wanted to do just what she did and looked up to her more than she will ever know.
I had an amazing childhood. I had a loving home and family. I never seen anyone struggle the way I did that first time anxiety came into my life. I remember sitting in my room, all of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t focus. I remember running and trying to yell for my Mom. She seen I wasn’t okay. Her and my dad put me in the truck. Within 5 minutes I couldn’t open my hands they were clamped so tight together the pain was unbearable. I was so scared and I could see the fear in my parents.
My dad ran every red light (cautiously) from home to the hospital, we all had no idea what was wrong. I got to the hospital and remember the doctor telling me I had a severe panic attack and was officially diagnosed with general anxiety disorder.
I had no idea what life looked like for me after that, this was all new to me. I was scared and felt like I was so alone, I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I was 15 years old and felt like I had a whole life of struggling ahead of me. Battling this unknown, scary disorder I knew nothing about. My doctor helped me and I found ways of coping with it to be able to enjoy life the best I could.
I had an amazing job as a receptionist at a doctors office during high school. That job made me feel safe, if ever I needed there was a doctor near by. However, I loved that job, had great friends and felt okay for many years. During high school I was dating the same boy from grade 10 until 12. However if I’m honest I spent more time with his mom and sister because they were very into crafts. I knew this relationship wasn’t it. I walked the stage got my diploma, graduation came and went. Him and I broke up. We were friends with another couple during high school. The four of us hung out together a lot. Both ofour relationships were over. After hanging out with my friend for a while him and I got together. He was that guy on the football team, the one every girl in high school crushes over, the popular guy in school but if those girls only knew. My life was about to get very, very dark.
TO BE CONTINUED…..